Mistake

Eating, she thinks

"This is a mistake."

Pulling off the browned lettuce

scraping off too much 

ketchup/mayo/cream cheese/sauce/etc.

Thinking of her stockings

and what she looks like in the morning

This is a mistake.

Thinking her hair is in horrible waves

and her fingers destroyed

and her nose running

Thinking of the possibilities of fur coats

and pencil skirts

and diamonds

She is wanting a bath 

and a glass of wine

and the ripest pears

and to be back in the breathy shadows 

of the orchard

or waist-deep in the tidepool

and she is thinking of that day on the beach 

when she was three feet tall

with the yellow blanket over her shoulders

and white hair

bending over for a sand dollar

and looking up for a photo

her mother's shadow in the corner of the frame.